Life begins with a leap of faith.

I feel that my life began a few months back when I decided to take a leap of faith. Most would say life begins the day they were born. I believe our physical existence starts at birth and ends at death…and somewhere in between is life…..wow, deep….I should be a eugoogoolizer. (see ZOOLANDER)

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Leap of faith? Life? No, it’s not my pre-workout doing the typing. Just bear with me, unless you’re still trying to catch up with Breaking Bad, in which case you should close this out and not come back until your done…shame on you.  My previous career lasted for 13 years. I realized around year 5 that this was not the path I wanted. There was this complex feeling growing inside of me with each passing year.  A mixture of hopelessness, rage, disgust, along side with something I can’t describe, but felt that it wanted to manifest. I didn’t have a horrible life, I was making money and had it easy, I was…comfortable. It was more internal, like deep inside you know your capable of so much more. It felt as is if I was simply existing. I felt boxed in and I knew I could easily escape….but wouldn’t.  Now that I think back at those emotions, I realize that those impulses were to be aimed at myself and not to the world.

It’s amazing how life unfolds…when you unfold it.

It was time to make a decision on a journey that was not without sacrifice . During my final 2 years I had been working towards becoming a strength coach, 6 nights a week & working as a chef 5 days a week.  That was my routine  (Always said I’d never work two jobs! Make a plan, make god laugh).  On one side I was coloring a picture with the numbers in it… you know… the ones that dictate what color goes where. On the other side there was a fresh blank canvas that I could not paint on because I was still holding onto the other picture. One path was secure, routine, lifeless, and no direction. The other path was completely unknown yet in a strange way it was clear. There would be obstacles, hard times, rewards, failures. Take the leap or remain in the hamster wheel.  Remain a chemistry teacher or cook crystal meth……………hhhmmmmmm..

.……..Yvette could launder the money………

..…….Coaching it is!!!!!!!!

If you haven’t figured it out, like a lot of people I’m a fan of crystal …uh…. Breaking Bad. For those of you who gave up connection to the outside world, to watch all 6 seasons straight on a total of ten hours of sleep like I did, ( I know I’m not the only one) you know how the plot goes. The main character, Walter White, is a brilliant man working as a high school chemistry teacher and part-time at a car wash. He has a wife, a son, and a baby on the way. They are just getting by. All he wants is to provide for his family, yet you know he is filled with thoughts of what could have been. He’s not miserable but you know he thinks about a missed opportunity. He has suppressed his potential.

Soon Walter learns he has cancer and he cannot afford the cost of the treatments.  Time was being taken away from him and he came to the realization that he would die and not leave his family in the best of situations. Now his hand is forced and must make a life decision. Most of us know how the rest of the story goes.  He was involved in some horrible acts, but in its simplicity, Walter unleashed his potential. There were no boundaries, no limits. He was no longer just existing .(spoiler) One of my favorite lines comes in the last episode. Walter is seeing his wife for the last time. He apologizes for everything but explains why continued to do the things he did. He says to her, “I liked it,” ” I was good at it” ” I was alive”. Everyday brought new challenges and obstacles to Walter. Facing those hurdles and overcoming the odds filled him with life. Money had nothing to do with it……yeah, and I’m never hungry.

The rewards at the end of the road are worthless compared to the power we have in deciding whether or not to take the journey . What you find when you reach the bottom after taking a leap does not define you.  Everyone has an impulse or a desire to accomplish or achieve something. Whether big or small, that impulse is another life switch begging to be flipped on. Fear and self-doubt always seem to get in front of us and dare us to try to get past them. Comfort and familiarity are the anchors of life. The opportunities to live and grow are all around us. Like Walter, sometimes we are forced to go into the unknown only to discover that we are more than what we were. In my case, it found me and dared me to become more. When you decide that you want something bad enough that you will jump into the unknown, you have awakened. When you decide to climb the wall of fear and self-doubt, you life will begin to manifest. You deciding to no longer wait around, no matter the outcome, and  to take that step towards a change or a goal is a leap of faith.

O